Thankful and Grateful to 2020

This year holds a special place in my heart as it gave me the toughest as well as the most best moments in my life. As most of you know Im first time mom, call it post-partum or new mom blues, I had this guilt of going back to work leaving my little one at home. He was born in September and I resumed working in November after two months. Though my parents were here, I was not happy with delegating my responsibility. I always wanted to take care just my mom did ❤ which I was unable to. Many a time I felt quitting job which I would have done if I was in India and there was no “VISA” dependency as many of you know. Personally and professionally I faced the toughest times until June, there was lot of crying, depression which I don’t want to go in detail. But for everything, I’d always question myself what I’m teaching or showing my son by this reaction or decision?  It’s thousands of years of conditioning and what they grew up seeing impacts thinking and behavior. Not only theirs but ours too, I couldn’t react boldly when I had to neither I still do #voicethisout many times. It took me a while to post this too openly as I’m scared how I’d be judged or people close to me may take personally and how they would react. Yes, I’m that normal timid desi girl who looks bold but not. So I’m heart fully thankful to those who gave me tough times for making me stronger ❤ and be clear what I should do to raise a son with love, empathy and understanding. 

2020 has changed the meaning of “normal life” and it has carved its own “NEW NORMAL” in the history. I was exclusively pumping n used to leave home by 7am in the morning and return at around 5.30 pm in the evening. Most of my day was gone in pumping, sanitizing storing milk and not to mention how tough it was at work place. My breast pump was the one which saw all my crying n vent out in the mother’s room. Oh yeah I have special love for my #spectrabreastpump ❤

Then in March lockdown began, I slowly switched to breastfeeding which was luxury for me, saving lot of time and giving me some feel good harmones and antidepressants with the little one’s touch and giggles. It is not easy as it looks in the pictures I share or write to manage baby or kids, doing household chores and the office work with little or no help. Though it is physically super tiring sometimes mentally too, I’m satisfied and super happy for every second spending time with him. I’m thankful and grateful for getting this opportunity to witness and celebrate all milestones and bond with my little one in the way I want.

And Instafam is the one which gave me opportunity to connect with wonderful women who motivate and helps to declutter my negativities and constantly inspire me to move towards positivity. Thanks to all who are reading this ❤ 

There are many emotions hidden behind any post or picture or writing for anyone. People always judge by seeing what others are posting. Neither everyone who is active on social media have all the support and happy nor who is not active doesn’t mean they don’t have support or happy. It all depends on the individuality what they want to show and don’t. Use the social medial to inspire you and give positive vibes but not to compare and get depressed. Its all about us how we want to live our life in what we have and be thankful and grateful ❤

I’m sure this would resonate with many moms not just me.

Happy Thanksgiving 2020 🙂