Think before asking a couple or woman when are they planning for a baby. Its the first question we commonly hear as soon as someone is married from close knit family members to strangers. Many a times people often forget that one question may trigger many emotions and may ruin someone’s day:
🙏Be it arranged marriage or love marriage, few people need some time to get emotionally and physically connected and then take the decision when they actually want to become parents.
🙏Though there bond is strong they may not be financially ready yet
🙏Though they are happy as couple, woman many not be confident having physical and emotional support required for her as mom
🙏They might have fertility issues.
🙏They might have been trying to conceive but it.s not working out for unknown reasons.
🙏Though they are happy couple, they may not be emotionally ready to be parents yet.
We understand about older generation and it’s common for them to ask these questions as they huge cultural impact & their thought process is different. But when I hear the same from same generation its surprising that they often forget how hurting it can be or ruin someone’s day. Of course many want to answer them straight on their face but no they can’t as may sound harsh or disrespectful. Here are few questions which we commonly hear & the answers are the ones which run in our mind but most often people don’t speak out:
✋Having baby/kids will strengthen the bond.
🥺Yes to some extent but not completely. The relation should be with love but not with adjustment or that of agreement
✋Someone in the relatives or friends had baby and that’s a comparison now.
🥺Please we don’t want any peer pressure to decide when to have one. This is not a race.
✋We never planned financially to have kid its strange you are doing that now.
🥺Sure, you many not have but we would like to as we don’t like going unplanned. Everyone is different. It’s lifestyle choice.
✋Wow you are enjoying for so many years without having kids, enough of enjoyment can u please be serious now and plan for kid.
🥺If having the baby is not enjoyment then why did you have one & asking us to have one. Planning a baby should be done when we are ready to take all the responsibilities happily and enjoy every bit of parenting.
✋U can just give birth & handover to your parents if you are concerned about career growth.
🥺We don’t want to delegate the responsibility & have kid just for the protocoled moreover who said that its because we are career oriented.
✋Age, weight etc…please do this & that it may be conceiving issue.
🥺Thanks for the advice, please don’t be deceived by age or looks we are perfectly fertile enough.
Its been a while you got married why don’t you have kids yet? Are you both happy or do you have any physical issues?
🥺Ummmm..we don’t want to discuss this, its kinda personal.
Yes we’ve been trying for long we have fertile issue and or may not & its very hurting whenever someone asks as we don’t want to be reminded for what we’ve been waiting for. Thank u so much for ruining another day & let us depress more.
And many goes on…
It’s totally ok if someone doesn’t want to have kids, please respect their choice. Parenthood doesn’t necessarily make someone complete or perfect.
Few of us might have done the same unknowingly too but this post is gentle reminder that these kind of personal questions though we asking in the kidding way it may hurt someone badly or ruin the day. Please refrain from asking personal questions unless you are too close to them & they share all by themselves. Did anyone of you had such experience & feel like answering one.
Joy of Jyo 